I have been practising for exactly ten years today! It feels like quite a milestone and I am reflecting on all the things I have learned over the past decade.
I started out, twelve years ago, not actually counselling (I was too early in my training for that) but volunteering at Arthur Rank Hospice. I was assisting a very experienced therapist with group work, which was a rich learning experience that I feel very lucky to have been in the right place at the right time for. He ran a group for carers which involved a twelve week programme of support and psychoeducation. Carers notoriously find it tough to carve out any time for themselves so this was a much needed intervention and I was constantly impressed both by how much the carers were managing and how the therapist, nurses, chaplain and doctors supported them.
Once I was far enough through my training to work with clients, I volunteered for CamSight, Centre 33 and Cambridge Cyrenians, which gave me a real breadth of experience and a wide client base. I loved working with children and young people as much as I enjoyed working with homeless people trying to get back on their feet, and I was lucky to have tremendous support from mentors and supervisors.
After qualifying, I secured a job in a primary school, moved up to a paid role at Centre 33 and began building my own private practice. The Studio, the well loved wooden building in my back garden, was built and I began to see clients there, just two days a week at first. It was good to build my own business whilst also enjoying the safety and support of two paid jobs. I was certainly busy and my weeks went by very quickly!
I took a little break from work in 2019 when we moved abroad for a short while. Just as we moved back, the pandemic hit, and I wasn’t sure how it would affect my plans to get back to work. I decided to just see a few clients online in private practice and see how things unfolded. By the end of 2020, I had a full diary and didn’t even consider looking for work elsewhere: I had all the work I wanted down in my garden and, as soon as it was safe to do so, it was wonderful to welcome clients back in person.
Something I have always loved about my job is that it completely absorbs my interest. I find that when I am listening to a client, I am usually able to be completely focussed on them and hopefully I can slip into their world for a while. I think of myself as a passenger on their journey. I don’t need to steer the car, but it can be really confidence-inspiring for clients to have a companion who sees the road as they do and understands something about what navigating it is like. It’s a privilege to be let in.
The thing I find hardest is never finding out the end of a story. Quite rightly, clients leave when they feel more able to cope on their own, and while I may have been very familiar with all they were going through over a long period of time, now I simply have to trust that they are doing OK.
The most mixed blessing is how hard the job is. It may not sound hard: it’s only listening, after all. But listening with your full attention, and allowing people to tell you their very deepest feelings, is all consuming. I like that it’s challenging as I think that’s how I learn best how to do my job. But it means that I have to take really good care of myself and I have really had to learn how exactly to do that. However, totally worth the work. It has probably set me up for life.
There have been low points, of course, as in any career. There was the time a spider surprised me mid-session and I almost jumped into a client’s lap. Not my most professional moment. There was the time the window cleaner popped in for a quick chat about my bill, interrupting what looked to him like a chat between friends but which was actually a counselling session (Window cleaner now only allowed to visit on my day off). But there have been many successes, many ah-ha moments and lots of tears and smiles as well.
I’ve had a steady stream of clients coming to the Studio since 2020, mainly in person but occasionally online, and I really appreciate the variety of my job (and the ridiculously easy commute). The Studio is such a perfect place to welcome clients, as it’s very peaceful and cosy, and sometimes contains a cat or two. I’ve worked a lot with the LGBTQ+ community and have done some valuable Continuing Professional Development in that direction, but I am always grateful for the mix of people I get to meet and the array of things they share with me. I hope I get to do another ten years plus and that the Studio continues to be a safe space for all.
The Studio
My assistants